Poetry- The Past

By: Christine Miskonoodinkwe Smith

Alone, in a corner I sit

The tears roll down my face

My body shakes with anger

My body shakes with

the memories of my painful past

My stomach is in knots

My fists are clenched

My screams go unheard

Pain shows on my face but

the anger is kept on the inside

I hear painful words and

I remember the hitting

Being locked up

And never having freedom

Like a child should have

I remember never being accepted

for who I was

I remember never being told

I was loved

Being made to grow up

Before my time

I remember a mother

Who made me feel worthless

Who told me I was stupid

And who told me

She hated me

I remember a father

Who had it made in society

I remember a family

Who looked good on the outside

But was a wreck on the inside

My father says he was blind

To what went on

He says he was never there

He says he didn’t do a thing

But to me, that’s all a lie

I remember my parents

Giving me up at an early age

And shutting me out of their lives

I remember them never saying bye

Being given a photo album

As if that would solve the pain

Of their hurt and rejection

I will never accept

My parent’s behavior

Or my father’s excuses or denial

I will never accept

My mother’s drinking or

The abuse meted out

I’ll never understand

Their rejection or their failure

To be as parents should be

These are my memories

I cannot erase them

No matter how hard I try