Poetry- The Past
By: Christine Miskonoodinkwe Smith
Alone, in a corner I sit
The tears roll down my face
My body shakes with anger
My body shakes with
the memories of my painful past
My stomach is in knots
My fists are clenched
My screams go unheard
Pain shows on my face but
the anger is kept on the inside
I hear painful words and
I remember the hitting
Being locked up
And never having freedom
Like a child should have
I remember never being accepted
for who I was
I remember never being told
I was loved
Being made to grow up
Before my time
I remember a mother
Who made me feel worthless
Who told me I was stupid
And who told me
She hated me
I remember a father
Who had it made in society
I remember a family
Who looked good on the outside
But was a wreck on the inside
My father says he was blind
To what went on
He says he was never there
He says he didn’t do a thing
But to me, that’s all a lie
I remember my parents
Giving me up at an early age
And shutting me out of their lives
I remember them never saying bye
Being given a photo album
As if that would solve the pain
Of their hurt and rejection
I will never accept
My parent’s behavior
Or my father’s excuses or denial
I will never accept
My mother’s drinking or
The abuse meted out
I’ll never understand
Their rejection or their failure
To be as parents should be
These are my memories
I cannot erase them
No matter how hard I try